Thursday 14 August 2014

Jenn is a Noob: Nails

I know I have fooled you into believing that I am the complete fount of knowledge for all your beauty needs, the wikipedia, if you will, of the beauty world, and the strawberry jam to your peanut buttter. But I, albeit humbled by your fervent trust, am nothing but a noob and my noob status is no more apparent than when I do my nails.

Every, single, time, I paint my nails, I am confronted by my inability to do so.

How to do your nails:

How I do my nails:

Behold, my ignorance.  

What I read: Nail Bed
What I think: Bed of Nails

What I read: Cuticle Flooding
What I think: This is a thing??? Sounds dangerous. Call a life guard. I also envision some blood.

What I read: Self Leveling
What I think: Firstly, a leveler, 'cause...duh. Secondly, you're telling me...your polish actually evens out on its own? Why is mine always lumpy....?????

People do:

Jayne did all those honeycombs by hand...BY HAND!?!??!?!?!

I feel proud if I can:

What's more, my nails tend to have imprints after 10 mins, chip after day 2 and look like I've been clawing myself out of a grave by day 3. Sometimes, I don't even know why I bother.

*facepalm* Le sigh...

Is it just me? Are you good with nails? Do you even bother?
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