Saturday 17 May 2014

7 Statement Lipsticks or Wear It Like You Mean It

statement lipsticks

 If I'm wearing a bolder lip, the magazines tell me I'm making a statement. Well, I don't know what statements they think I'm making but it's really one of the following:

1) I only had 5 minutes this morning so I'm going to whack you in the face with how red my lips are to detract from how minimal everything else is.

2) I'm going to gym after work. Removing eyeshadows and full foundation is a pain. Lipstick removal is easy.

3) I'm at a party and I want to look like I'm the shit.
(we all know that 3 rarely happens since  I'm a granny, and that most of my parties involve properly cooked food and people talking about politics, so it's always 1 or 2.)

statement lipsticks

Though statement lips are more a declaration of my laziness rather than a bold expression of fashion, there are a few lipsticks that have been relegated for this purpose. Since using them with a full face of make up scares the beejesus out of me, a stronger lip color usually is accompanied by just eyeliner (extra points if I managed a cat eye that day), mascara, brows and some foundation.

nyx perfect red mac lady danger nyx addis ababa revlon showy swatch statement lipsticks

 I don't think "statements" could be any more exuberant than with a matte lip. You're REALLY DECLARING YOUR LAZINESS when you haven't bothered to exfoliate them lips (yes "them lips") and slapped on that matte lippie anyways. Whatever, I've done it. Such is the extent of my sloth behaviour.

My picks for the perfect statement matte lip are:
NYX Perfect Red: with which little children will comment to their mothers on how frickin red your lips are. Yes this actually happened.

MAC Lady Danger: with which people will comment on how brave you are for pulling off that red-orange.

NYX Addis Ababa: with which matte fuchsias are a party on your lips that only you are invited to because its an office day. It was the first thing you reached for and there was no time for reconsideration.

Revlon Showy: with which a colleague in the adjoining office will give you a fist pump for rocking that cool toned pink because she was too afraid to today. I guess she had more time for reconsiderations that morning.

l'oreal rouge allegro rimmel vintage pink covergirl euphoria statement lipsticks swatchs

For those who would rather not bare their flaky lips for all to see, there are the cream and gloss varieties.

My picks for cream/gloss statement lips are:
L'Oreal Rouge Allegro: with which a stain will stay on your lips for most of the day which is GOOD because you are too lazy to reapply.

Rimmel Vintage Pink: with which wearing a mauve purple is just edgy enough to be edgy but not so edgy that they'll edge you out of the office. This is important. Jobs are good.

Covergirl Euphoria: with which a friend will comment on the almost goth-berry-darkness of this lippie with "what is WITH your LIPS?" and you are momentarily stunned. All you want to say is "I'm trying to make a STATEMENT ok!" Instead, you decide to be polite and laugh while thinking what a noob they are.

There you go, my thoughts on statement lips. What are yours? What "statement" are you trying to make, if any, if they even exist...?

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