Saturday, 29 April 2017

Struggling with Fitness

Sharing my struggles in achieving a fitness balance.

This morning I planned to do a yoga and HIIT class at the gym but I couldn't get myself out of bed. In bed, I hated myself for being "lazy" and while I knew that one missed work out wouldn't be the end of the world, I felt guilty about staying home. Worse, I had thoughts about my weight, how I was missing a chance to develop muscle and how I should eat less during the day to compensate (and realizing that I wouldn't, added onto the guilt). 

I read an article about Movement Cleanses (stick "cleanse" onto the end of anything, and it gains instant credibility). I want to believe in what it was telling me; its OK to slow down, always stretch and, focus on progress and a peaceful mind. But even on self imposed "rest days" I still want to lift, jump, run, etc because I want to maybe get those abs just a day sooner. Sometimes I realize that I need to slow down when soreness makes it hurts to sit/walk or when my gym schedule means have time to see friends or read a book. Even then, I'm thinking about when I can return to the gym.

I love how I've gotten stronger and healthier over the years and I love working out and being active! I don't love how I feel when I'm letting, forcing, myself to rest. I don't enjoy feeling stressed that I decided to do cardio instead of lift, or x instead of y, or that I only did 6 exercises when I was shooting for 8. And I don't enjoy that I spend so much time thinking about what I put into my stomach ("but I need protein for the gainz!...When can I have carbs?...I should stop eating so much peanut better").

Focusing on "progress not perfection"is something I'd like to achieve. I'm really enjoying my fitness journey and I'm looking for ways to be more accepting of what my everyday body looks and feels like. I still want to keep pushing myself while appreciating the benefits of my efforts. Not only do I want to be still full mobile at 90 but to also have healthy mindset about fitness as well.

If you have any tips or if you've been in the same place, I'd love to hear your story!


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